Unexpected Goodbyes

I don't know where to begin my friends. I haven't sat down on my computer in 5 days. Sometimes we easily forgot how quickly our life and world can be turned upside down in a matter of moments. 

I'm not sure how much and what to say, to share, because it's not my story to tell. My best friend was 24 weeks into her first pregnancy when suddenly she began to have contractions last Wednesday. I received a phone call Wednesday evening that she was at the hospital and that they were transferring her to a specialty hospital in Portland. I immediately began gathering my stuff to head up that way, when I received a second phone call that simply stated, "Come here now."

Tears rushed down my eyes as I drove down the highway. I knew this wasn't good. 

5 minutes after I arrived her daughter was born at 8:11. They immediately began to work on her, though they didn't have the proper equipment for a baby so young. An hour later the PANDA unit arrived - trained nurses who would rush her to the Portland hospital. 

To make an incredibly long story short I followed them up to Portland and stayed with my friend and her mom. Physicians and nurses continued to try and stabilize the baby all night. Her baby, the baby girl she had dreamed of having her entire life, passed away inside her arms at 10:10 the next morning.

In my line of work, I've seen many sad deaths - but this was truly the most heartbreaking, the saddest day in my life. My heart ached for my friend, unable to even fathom the emptiness she had inside, and all I could do is sit there and cry along with her. 16 Physicians and nurses gathered into the room with us and just stood there with heavy hearts and sadness in their eyes. I will never be able to erase that picture from my head. 

It's been an incredibly rough week and I feel torn because I need to spend time with my family, but hate the thought of leaving her alone.

I just wish I could make things all better for her, but there is nothing that can be said or done that can heal her pain right now. 

~Melissa