Melissa Kaylene: say what you want to say.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

say what you want to say.

Have you ever held all of your feelings in? I used to do it all of the time. I used to be a bottle of anxiety that was just ready to explode. I never talk about it, but when I was a teenager I had so much worry, self doubt, and fear within myself that I had no idea how to manage. I was able to hold down a job at McDonald's, but I literally felt like I was standing up in front of a crowd whenever I had to talk to someone. My stomach would tighten, palms begin sweating, heart started racing, and I would replay every thing I was going to tell that person over and over in my head and couldn't actually speak the words I wanted to say.
Thank goodness I was able to learn to love myself more, care less of what other's thought, and be brave. I think that all of this may have never happened had I not gotten pregnant so young.
 
Everything happens for a reason.
 
I knew I had to overcome all of my self doubt and worries to care for my child.
 
I was scared.
 
I became a CNA while I was 17 and pregnant which was a career that involved so much human interaction. It wasn't easy. But I very slowly began to have more confidence in myself.
More love for myself. For life.

I still am generally a quiet person until I get comfortable and familiar with people. I listen more than I speak. I still bite my tongue sometimes, but am so proud of myself when I reflect back to what I overcame.
This song by Sara Bareilles is so motivating. I have always loved her music, and this one has been on replay a lot that last couple days.

Can you put your fears aside, say what you want to say, and move on? In the end, all that really matters is that you lived a life that you loved.

Tell me, how big is your brave?


 
~Melissa

18 comments:

  1. Great post Melissa! I can totally relate to what you're saying. I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember and I've learned to deal with the different levels in different ways. I'm also very reserved and listen more than I speak until I am comfortable with new people.It's good to know that you're not alone out there and at least one other person knows what you go through. Thank you so much for this post and have a wonderful weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Maria! I know that when I was younger I would often come across as "stuck up" or "uptight" simply because I listened more than I spoke. It is nice to know that there are other people that have been through the same things, and I'm glad I finally got around to sharing this. :)

      Delete
  2. AW, Melissa. This is so touching! I'm so happy that you were able to step out of your shell a bit when you started working and had your first child. You sound pretty brave to me now these days. Thanks for sharing with us at Countdown in Style! Don't forget to stop by to see if you are featured on Friday! xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Brittnei! Love your site! I'll check it out Friday! :)

      Delete
  3. great post! I like the pictures.
    will comment back - http://www.oldfashionmom.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I will stop by and check out your site!

      Delete
  4. Wow. What an amazing post to share your truths like that. I wish my teenage daughter would read writings as honest and real as this. Thank you for sharing. You will definitely help someone by posting honestly like this...And I bet it's helped you each time too. A new follower here :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, thank you SO much Jeanine. It really inspires me to continue to share posts like this on occasion. Thanks for motivating and inspiring me <3

      Delete
  5. Great post! I feel this way a lot too. Mostly I don't speak up for meyself and feel that people walk all over me. Blah! I hate that about myself. I'm glad someone is touching on their emotional experiences rather than just fashion. Thanks for sharing!
    Linking up along with ya.
    xo
    Taylor
    http://www.nothingbutapigeon.com/

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's so refreshing to see women speak the truth about their trials and triumphs. Kudos to you! Thanks for linking up at the Hearts for Home blog hop.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think you wrote this post for me! I honestly have tears coming out of my eyes after watching the video. I know exactly how you feel. I even used to have dream of my mouth being so filled with bubble gum that I couldn't speak! And I am 61 years old! I still have a really hard time in classroom-like settings to raise my hand and give my opinion. Thank you for letting me know there are others out there who deal with this. It sounds like you have been successful in moving forward with this topic and I congratulate you! You are beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment means SO much to me Donna! In ways its much easier to share things like this through writing and on the computer than face to face, but it was still a difficult decision for me to begin to write more personal posts occasionally. If I can relate even to just one person or inspire and encourage them though, it's all worth it. <3

      Delete
  8. Melissa, this is so touching, but the pictures you took show how much you've come out of your shell. I've never been one to hold my words, except around my family because I feel like so much of the black sheep (oddly, the the 'bad' one, but the 'all-to-perfect' one, so they say). Since I could be amenable without throwing a tantrum, I SHOULD be amenable in all situations, even to my own detriment. The last couple of years, I have finally conquered that. Thanks for sharing and linking up with Countdown in Style! Don't forget to come back on Friday to see if you were featured!

    ~~April~~
    100lbCountdown.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Awesome post!! I found you at Live Laugh Rowe's party link up. I wrote a post last year - "Thoughts On being Brave" and I was not familiar with this song so thank you so much for sharing that. I love Nicole Nordeman's song called "Brave" as well. Not sure if you have heard it. Thanks for sharing your heart!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi, Am already a follower to your lovely Blog, Hop you are having good time, I have also started following you via Blogvin, Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter, Hope you will also do the favour.

    my blog: wilsontom.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Very inspirational, Melissa and your photos so perfectly accompany your story. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing with the Clever Chicks Blog Hop!

    Kathy Shea Mormino
    The Chicken Chick
    http://www.The-Chicken-Chick.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a wonderful post! Thank you for sharing at Sharing Saturday!

    ReplyDelete
  13. <3 Love the story and thank you for sharing. It's something I can relate to very well - something I'm still trying to deal with as I'm in my late 20s.

    ReplyDelete